masQuerade

Loathing comes in shades. Currently, I'm in the black.

2005-03-08T01:45:00.000+08:00

I think it the height of rudeness when people :-

a) talk over me(different from interrupting),

b) discredit my suggestions without explanations AND

c) set out to reduce one's role in say, projects, and pass it off as "nothing wrong" or "why're you making a fuss" or "there's no time for that, can we just move on?"

I'd really REALLY like to lambast these boors, preferably in a place where many can bear witness. But alas, such is life. A life where majority rules, discretion reaps eventual rewards and equality(and fairness, for that bloody matter) is sent packing with a "Pshaw!"

While some may say that one would simply be wasting time being thoughtful of others, when 'greater' things such as efficiency (and maybe fame?) can be achieved by steamrolling others, I'd say I've never heard greater thwack in my life!

Or, *smiles*, to quote a friend, I'd shout

(near THEIR ears, of course),

"Bollocks!"

Sadly, I know of many people who're cutting off more and more ties with humanity for the sake of advancement and for the Gods of either Fame or Money.

But I digress.

I hope those who have annoyed the hell outta me will either learn to adopt tact or simply shut the hell up.

No, really!

I swear I don't know what takes over me when one of those...those...PRIMATES opens their trap and spews forth utter drivel. I feel white-hot rage at their insensitivity but that anger has left only tired resignation in its wake.

It's unfair, all this crap, but what CAN I do, really? I'm just going to dig my heels in whenever I feel the need to and grin and bear it. Give up, I will not!

because

I'm THE mooodiest bint of all!

Bloody insensitive bitches.

Pre-ordained destiny is something I suscribe to.

I believe in coincidences.

Hello Mr Rochester.

2005-03-07T08:19:00.000+08:00

I am of the opinion that EVERYONE should read Jane Eyre.

It's really such a wonderful book that transends time. I read it first around 7 years ago and still retain many impressions of it:

Jane's 'exile' to the spirit-draining Lowell Institution with it's hypocritical patron, Mr Broklehurst.

Jane locked in the red room, wailing with grief and fear at the thought of the supposed spirits possessing her soul.

Jane meeting Ms Temple and Helen and absorbing their teachings to become Jane Eyre, governess.

Meeting Mr Rochester, the epitome of a confusing, highly charismatic man with a past.

Mr Rochester, dressed as a gypsy, intent on scaring away the faint-hearted Hon. Blanche and co. and determined to shock the equally stubborn Jane.

But, my absolute favourite part of the book is when she returns to him after a long, long while, to find him blind and a shell of what he had been. The scene where she startles him in the dark living room and his slow joy and realisation that Jane had indeed returned to him shall always be firmly etched in my mind.

So much so that half a year ago, I picked up a (faux) leather-bound copy of it at a book fair.

Hoping to gain more admirers for the book, I goaded my younger sister into reading it. (Hah! It works all the time. And like a charm too.)

While I don't think she's altogether ready for the issues in the book, I'm sure the impressions gained from her readings at this age will nag at her until one day, when she's older, she'll pick up my old (faux) leather-bound copy and go, "Hey...I've seen this before..." and start re-reading it.

When I was just a little girl....

2005-03-03T19:51:00.001+08:00

[continued from title]
I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me... Que Sara, Sara. Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, Que Sara, Sara......
[end]

I'm sure eVeryone knows that song. (If you don't, I'm not really sure I should tell you....)

Well. It very aptly describes my mood. Just change the "my mother" to "the fates" and "Sara" to "fiona".

The pressure's really being applied now. All the projects are due in 3 weeks. Or less! Acckkkk! *runs around like a startled chicken*

(Oh, and a startled chicken is THE most freaking hilarious thing I have ever seen. And I got to see it up close and personal! It was clucking away and it's eyes were rolling into the back of it's little head.

Damned funny. I wonder why it was behaving in such a manner though. tsk. how unbecoming.

Wait a minute,waitaminute, I know why! Someone was trying to grab it to cook it for dinner. *turns pale*

Oh dear, now I remember why I squashed that memory away. The thing WAS caught in the end and I heard the awful crack of the neck bone being chopped.

Ew. Think of the blood. Think of the gore. Think of her little chicks!!! But all said and done, it wAs a great meal.

lol.)

what if.

2005-02-25T15:16:00.000+08:00

Ever felt like you were on the cusp of something? Like you were standing centimetres from a yawning precipice? If your answer is affirmative, I can be assured of not suffering from paranoia. *gives fervent thanks*

I know something's gonna happen. And when it does, it'll roll in with the finess of a steamroller and flatten me out of existence.........Eeek! *and other sounds associated with yelping*

Randomness:
I think I'll nap. Yes I do believe I will. *nods* What else's one to do in this bloody weather? (Oh and speaking of bloody, I saw a Bloody Moon yesterday. very morbid. tsktsk. Practically out of a horror movie~)

Food tip of the day:
For the chocoholics' delight - do try Arnott's Tim Tam Chewy Choc Fudge. It's a light layer of milk chocolate over honeycomb-ish cookies and buried in the heart of the whole calorie-loaded thing,(within the filling of more premium chocolate, that is) is *ta-dah* the stick of fudge!

Drooling yet? [ Warning : Hard to limit self to one only.]

Just you wait, Henry Higgins! Just you wait!

2005-02-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

4 weeks and a few days.

To be precise: 35 days more.

I can do this. * chants to self*

After all, with the prospect of a change of environs in sight, why would I NOT be?!

Actually, there would be ONE upsetting thing; Any money I make will go to that mistake prompted by a quirk of fate.

Oh how I loathe that meddlesome biddy!

Leave me be.

2005-02-22T21:44:00.000+08:00

g g g g g

Black is the tinge of hatred,

smeared upon my soul.

White are the wings of angels,

chasing away the ghouls.

Blue is Kelandry's lake,

with calm, lapping water.

Green is the dense canopy,

that never will falter.

Red is the sharp tear,

the ridge worn out of despair,

the pain I wish not to bear,

the sorrow, oh, the sorrow.

How can one not stare?

g g g g g

- an original piece copyrighted by fiona j.

Faeries.

2005-02-12T12:19:00.000+08:00

You scored as

A Too Serious Faerie.

Ooh get you! We don't see you in
detention with the itching powder.
You're one no-nonsense faerie and
that's great. You're an excellent
person to turn to for advice and
will listen to and help any friend
in need. But sometimes it's worth
letting your hair down for a
moment, you'll discover more fun
for yourself - which you deserve!

See All Results/Comment

A Too Serious Faerie

65%

A Too Astral Faerie

55%

A Too Silly Faerie

50%

A Too Evil Faerie

45%

A Too Depressed Faerie

45%

A Too Sweet Faerie

35%

A Too Kinky Faerie

25%

A Too Sporty Faerie

25%

A Too Lazy Faerie

20%

Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Damnit.

2005-02-11T02:49:00.000+08:00

Nobody gets my sense of humour.

Oh this is sad! I can't even snidely refer to something and have the other party UNDERSTAND not to even mention appreciate my point!

I think there're only about 3, yes THREE people who've not seen my idle humour as a spastic attempt at being hugely funny or a sly dig OR a comment that skirts sarcasm.

Why I never!

Ah well. Such is life. *shrugs*

Music Tip of the Day: Go listen to Greensleeves.

Gelid is the winter of my heart.

2005-02-05T19:29:00.000+08:00

A/N:This is the 5th, yes FIFTH time I'm typing this bloody thing out. Thank you God for 'Copy' and 'Paste'.

Does one's heart playing 'patty-cake' when thinking of a certain someone sound familiar?

It's frankly the slightest bit annoying when one regards that One Encounter with the same trepidation as that of a child faced with an advancing wolf.

Ah well, such is life. (my, my, do I seem like I've an external locus of control.)

Onto other news:
"It was reported late last night that 16 Blast-Ended Skwerts were seen clambering out of a hole and into rubbish bins in the district with little ceremony or stealth.

Mr Derwent Shipling of Rowena's Crest, in his trembling recount of the incident stated that it was a "horrific sight" and it would be most "frightening for Muggles". (This reporter would have very much liked to quirk a brow at the indomitable Mr Shipling and ask, "Muggles only, sir?")

In light of this 'horrific' incident, one would like to warn readers that the final battle could just be closer to home than originally thought and to remember the late Alastor Moody's motto; "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" (And watch out for those evil Flobberworms!)

-Daphne Greengrass, THE WONKY NEWSWIRE

Be.

2005-01-31T15:30:00.000+08:00

Why does life sometimes seem to spiral out of control?
Why does sitting out one race endanger your chances of winning the others?
Why should one effuse emotion and expect blackmail?
Why's there SO much going on around me but nothing happening in my sphere of control?

Why?

I have no answers, only questions. There are no major upsets - only constant disappointments. There is no appreciation, only self-doubt and expectancy.

Why can't I just be?

Oh my poor head...

2005-01-28T13:07:00.000+08:00

The sounds emitted from my house are very much like those an EXTREMELY angry kid would make when let loose in a room full of tools and glass. Right now the 'kid' is thrashing the windows and I think and I just heard something metal slam into the door.
_______________________________________________________

Holes are being drilled in the master bedroom to jam in the new air-conditioning unit to please the Stupid Cow who lives downstairs.

(She claims to hear the whirring of the compressor and apparently it 'disturbs' her rest. hctib. She complained to the TC and we've been strong-armed into buying a new unit.) [Altogether now: that STUPID BOW-LEGGED GOAT!]

I hope she's happy now. I also hope all the drilling gets to her and she goes stark-raving mad, runs all the way to Woodbridge, commits herself, runs some more and throws herself into the body of water called the Straits of Malacca and NEVER, I repeat NEVER returns.

*shudders delicately*

All this drilling is reminding me of the dentist's. Gak. Now my root-canalled tooth is tingling. GAK. And could someone please tell me how, short of leaving my house, I'm gonna be able to study for the upcoming tests? Huh?! HUH?!

Stupid Old Hag.

I wish something DIRE happens to her. But then again all this wishing might just rebound on me. So I'd best halt my barrage of insults (you haven't heard the half of it) and try to do something useful; like sulk while shutting my ears with both hands.

Great.

2005-01-24T07:57:00.000+08:00

Ack. *rubs gummy eyes sleepily*

I'm beat. There's so much one can do to entertain oneself that ONE can plonk into bed at 4 despite SELF's eyes screaming "STOP ALREADY!" frequently.

I bet if any eager beaver had his/her head pressed flat against my door last night/this morn they'd have heard maniacal giggling, helpless laughter and maybe even some cackling.

I really must stop being so enntertained by the written word; I mean how DIGNIFIED can it get? Giggling like a loon in front of my laptop *mumbles incoherently to self*

Tsk.

Blastitall anyhows. You know why? Because today we have a DEBATE. I loathe/detest debates because I'd really much rather watch.

At least afterwards I (might) have a possibilty for fun. Going shopping for small somethings for certain other(?) somethings.

Don't think I'd be able to do any REAL shopping BECAUSE I have sadly (and carelessly flinging caution to the winds) blown my shopping budget right to Tibet over the weekend. *sighs*

Oh when will I ever LEARN! *said very tragically*

ah well. off to the debate then. blastitagain.

Prancing.

2005-01-22T17:02:00.000+08:00

Why are we so afraid of offending others?

We measure pros,cons then view the whole thing at an angle.

A fear of retaliation?

Ah-ha.

Why aren't we all as audacious as that infamous 'pink blogger'?

Alliances forged. Grieviances re-visited. But in the end, isn't discussing others fun? Innate curiosity gleams through carefully placed queries. Why else would certain industries profit so much?

So don't forget the end of this over-used quote;

Curiosity killed the cat,
But satisfaction brought it back.

Go on. Sate your nosy-ness.

Curiosity and prudence, I have found, so very well together.

An Ode to Green Eyes

2005-01-20T09:34:00.000+08:00

I am loathe to admit,
That despite -ahem- great wit,
Succumbing to the silver-tongued sprite Envy is easy.

But I will not yield!
For strong is [my] Cautions's shield;
Protection from the elements of doom.

Reason will temper rashness
But in her absence comes Crassness
-The devious fellow who lays in wait for the opportune moment.

So, be they friends or foes,
The green-eyed, loose-lipped monster should not be let to crow,
For not only will it rip chums apart,
Graciousness will also depart.

A/N:

1)There is no specific reason for this post -
(Ergo, it's not directed at a specific SOMEONE, per se. It's just the resultant of
an urge to write.)

2)Should anybody like/appreciate/be obsessed with Harry Potter, and would like to
read the very quirky and very short "Ode to Herms" , click on the link!

And they said...14!

2005-01-11T21:06:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I missed the once-in-a-lifetime 15 minute lecture, then encouraged Sloth by stoning in the SIM foodcourt.

LocVid was a very near thing; 'near' as in my eyes very NEARly rolled back into head from the sheer monotony of the topic at hand. (Not Mr M's fault - he did try though.)

Lunch -> The onslaught of sniffles let loose a set of rogue hammers in my skull.

HENCE,with feckless abandon did I chatter, heeding neither reason nor tact.
(My apologies to any offended/insulted/bemused party, the flu addled my wits.)

The only moment - or moments, more like, - of clarity were during my speech; I had the suprisingly apt topic of "What are your feelings towards racist comments".

(I know! Finally the Fates conspire FOR me.)

Anyhoos, I felt I got my point across, non?

Tromped off to atrium and ate despite no hunger. (Ate quite a bit actually. tsk.)

Landed home eventually after a bus and 10 mintues of walking while sneezing and hacking.

Then proceeded to babble some more - this time to my parents and (duh?) received looks of disbelief.

Thinking a shower would help, I marched off to bathe.
AND
Barfed my nose, ears and throat to the point of extreme pain and I reckon I lost about $4.00 worth of food. tsk.

Ah the joys of teen-hood.
*said in a VERY droll tone*

Dismayed much.

2005-01-09T02:43:00.000+08:00

This is so sad. At my AGE?! and I've succumbed!? It's enough to bring on a wash of red to my cheeks. ACK. I mean, I'm usually indifferent, highly so in fact. How on Earth could I have driven myself to the ground in this manner?!

It's unbecoming in the extreme really, and I know EXACTLY where the blame lies.

*hangs head in abject shame*

I absolutely HAVE to stop, else, else...I don't know WHAT else. Geez. Who'd have ever thought? Certainly not I.

But hey! I can control this

*brushes off invisible lint from shirt*

I can!

*glares at non-believer*

I'm NOT a FAN yet!

*indignantly insists*

Right? Right?I mean, the symptoms say otherwise, RIGHT?

*grasps at straws*

You're right.

It's hopeless. I AM doomed.

*buries face in hands*

I'm a FAN. Of another HUMAN BEING.

*shudders with horror*

(It's not the Subject I am disgusted with, it's myself, oh HOW could I....*resumes ranting*)

My Theory of Madness:
When Indifference is one's guiding principle, Obsession crawls through a crevice, then proceeds to rout all Calm from a pre-determined path.

Damn and blast it all.

Yes I DO know I'm over-reacting a tad.

Here we go loopy-loo...

2005-01-01T15:13:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I don't feel like I've stepped over yet another threshold of time into the waiting arms of a new year. (Must be something to do with the schedule of this semester.)

Personally, New Year's Eve has always been of more import to me. The day would pass with me feeling like I'm balancing on the cusp of an elusive aomething, or as if I were flirting with the beginning of a grand adventure. The odd thrill of expectancy would brim within and I'd wonder if the next day will herald the year that'd be the year when IT happens.

'IT' being all those little squashed up hopes,dreams and other various things trapped in the inner workings of my mind;, some useless nothings, some which play the role of the wire fence to my climbing vine.

There's much to learn from each year I have turned the page on, and should I have the patience and (dare I say?)temerity to sift through the sands of my memory, I'm sure I'd glean much.

So. To all other beings befuddled and slightly bemused by the onset of yet another year, have ourself a Merry 2005.

Cheers.

Merry, merry.

2004-12-25T08:57:00.000+08:00

Yep. It's definitely a time for miracles! I'm just glad I got it back.

BUT. Some people obviously do not understand the meaning of non-confrontational. That iNsAnE (Read: Loopy) downstairs neighbour of mine pounded on the door(just now) like there was no tomorrow and bloody well started to rail at my dad.

Like, HELLO? If the laundry is dripping (and it was just one frickin' article of clothing) you could like just knock, then civily request/insist that we remove that offending piece of clothing.

Yet she harped on(and brought along her browbeaten husband for support) and on about how we should show christmas love and blah blah blah but HELLO (again) SHE was the one bloody yeling, no? Thank GOd my dad kept his cool, else there'd been bloodshed.

O well.. Not exactly an ideal start to a Christmas morning but one can only hope the day gets better.

Give it back. Please?

2004-12-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

It's true then. When you're very happy, something bad always happens. Trouble in paradise and all that.

When you've done something bad(think egg on carpet) you get instant retribution. THink it's funny? GO ahead, laugh. Coz I sure as hell am gonna wail soon.

Laundry Service, anyone?

2004-12-12T03:10:00.000+08:00

It's official. I've lost it. Not that I've ever really HAD it but anyhoos...

Guess what entertaining *coughyeahrightcough* chore is brightening my mundane existence right now.

Come on...it isn't THAT hard.. after all there're only so many things you can do 'round 3am.

Oh alright...check out the title. Of this entry, that is.

I do believe I've lost it.

"The concept is grasped, it's the application that's proving elusive." - F.J.J.

And I'm Nothing.

2004-12-11T20:12:00.000+08:00

Whyever do some people have all the luck?

____________________________________________

ENVY scorches me like a still-smoking cigarette.
A hazy green aura settles around and dormant Rage is my constant companion.

She dogs my footsteps,
determined to faze and unnerve.
Her red-edged talons plunge deep into my veriest soul.
And I falter - succumbing to the pain.

Now I weep. Surrounded by gauze curtains, I huddle with aborted Grief.

Yet she'll not leave me be.
Instead she stalks and grins while tending to her chore.

Why me?
She replies, "Why not?"
___________________________________________

A/N:
I for one find meloncholy an excellent source of inspiration. Add a very persistent illness and you've practically got yourself a rapid literary influx OR a shot straight to the head OR a naggy Muse.
___________________________________________

"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

- Evanescence, 'Missing'

So it WAS true.

2004-12-08T19:45:00.000+08:00

I came home, dropped off my bag and grabbing the dvd, headed to VIDEO EZY. On the way, I detoured to my neighbourhood Starbucks to check out a rumour and lo! There was such an almighty ruckus - Christmas cheer evident on every member of the staff's face - and there were around ten of them mind you - in that SMALL cafe.

[Now, seeing as how the said rumour was that Starbucks was handing out free coffee(customer's choice) AND also having noticed around 3 people walking in the opposite direction with Starbucks coffee in hand, I was nursing the slight suspicion that said rumour was indeed true.]

Alright. Back to the store: The barista sized up my questioning look and nodded pointing to a notice on the counter. "Christmas Open House on the 8th of December 5pm-7pm - one redemption per person*...." followed by the usual nonsense in small print; can only be a Tall size, etc etc.

It was after seven but the staff seemed to WANT to give away as much as possible and the barista just asked me what I'd what. To which I replied, "Something hot and something sweet", she then gleefully (yes, gleefully) directed my gaze towards a poster. Seizing my chance (I mean, really, how often is anything free in Singapore? And that too without strings.) I ordered the Creme Brulee Cuppa and strolled out shortly with said cuppa in hand and slight smile on face. Really, the fun and laughter in that small shoppe was infectious.

:: And by the way - ::

Happy Birthday ANNE!

p.S. Oh, and thanks Xin Yi and indirectly, Calvin for the free cuppa. heh.

It's been a while

2004-12-08T03:06:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was seriously NOT my day( with regards to bus services. I missed THREE buses. YES, 3 and all different buses. And ALL after 8.30pm. Cripes.)
The whining halts. Ay least, I tHink it does...

After lec ended at 3, I thought "why not? just in case there's French today", so I strolled off to Blk 53 with Tammi and checked the *bedamned* schedule. i HAD French, so it turned out. From effing 6pm to 8pm. *insert groans here*

Basically that meant I'd reach home by 10 latest(which basically means I would avail myself of Slumber around 2?) and have to somehow (with superhuman will) arise at 6.A.M.

Other than that major grouse(the timing, not the subject) the first day was pretty laidback. Stress took a backseat on Easy Street. (Seems like that lah, only first day what...)

Location Video Prod-->Speech Comm-->2 hr break-->Graphics Comm--->3 hr break--->French

It was really great seeing everyone again, seemed like ages since I'd last seen a few people (It was like only 2 months, but hey! Go figure.)

I'll cease my rambling now.
(Gonna check up on Marsilio Malfoy ...)

"Fashionably Late"

2004-11-11T13:27:00.000+08:00

Firstly, I gotta thank Nessa and Meli for their card (It's so nice they know me that well eh? *stares pointedly at card's title*) and Shimeng for the wonderful present.(It's like she read my mind or something. heh)

______________________________________

SO. Yesterday was kinda fun. First I met Tammi(I was late as usual.o so typical me. lol). Was supposed to accompany her to buy that Jin CD, but you know - what with my tardiness - didn't happen. ( my sincere apologies, tammi).

Wandered 'round Taka's basement, foraging for food. Then we met Nessa and Meli. Intro-ed them to each other and we walked, talked, went to the library, bought more food, gathered in Kino and sat in the 'lil kids section to rest our weary legs and giggled lots. Much fun, that.

Met a geared-for-clubbing Shimeng in the basement and chatted for a bit. Around seven, we had to disperse. Tammi headed to Hougang, Shimeng off to meet a friend and Meli, Ness and I took a 14 and the journey passed uneventfully with only the occasional laments about 'Bucky' from Meli. *insert groans here*

Ness sat with me while I had dinner. We talked and I think even the 3-odd hours we chatted weren't enough. We kept retracing our steps, and I think we actually wore down a twisted path of our own on that walkway behind Nessa's house. It's so nice to have someone who understands exactly how you'd feel and react in a CERTAIN situation.

I really don't know how I'd have made it through secondary school happy, without the three of 'em - Nessa, Val and Meli.

Minor tiffs and major hassles aside, we've stuck eh? That can only be a good thing. And yeah, I totally suscribe to Ness's theory; each friend in your 'circle' satisfies an aspect of you and the sum total, well, that's what makes us a group, no?

I'm not really the openly sappy sentimental sort, but I have to say;
I've missed you guys.

"What suitcase?"

2004-11-11T13:18:00.000+08:00

I can't pack. I'm so bloody bored. Overload in action. *sighs at stack of clothes on bed*

WANTED:
Really nutty house-elf. Will not cringe at thought of being slave eternally aka forever and ever. Slightly Dobby-esque for entertainment.

I just CAN'T bring myself to pack. I mean..after all I DO have another 10 hours, so where's the hurry?

I have really reached the pinnacle of procastination. Great.

I'll just go back to watching the dust motes swirl in stray sun beams now. Toodles!

Castle in the clouds.

2004-11-11T13:10:00.000+08:00

It's not that I dislike people, mind you, it's just that sometimes melancholy weighs me down.

'cause i'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when i'll be back again
- Chantel Kreviazuk 'Leaving on a jet plane'

Let me rage.

2004-11-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

So there I am, struggling valiantly to extract myself from the teeming mass that is The Deepavali Crush in Serangoon Road.

I shift along with the swelling numbers and try to look for even the smallest opening to squeeze through and escape the pulsating beast.

So I head on, eyes slightly glazed and ears keen.

Only to pick up the sound of a whiney kid.

Whiney Kid mumbles into His Mum's pants:
"Mummy, I'm scared."

Kid's Mum:
"Of what ah?" *ruffles kid's hair*

Whiney Kid:
"Of all the Indian people" *indicates with head in the general direction of teeming mass.*

Kid's Mum:
"Don't worry ah, see there *points* and there *stabs air yet again* got Chinese people."

Geez.

I shake my head in disappointment?/sadness? at having caught a glimpse of how prejudice is bred.

As the crowd spits me out into the cool night, I ponder and reflect on the little, but very telling incident. There's still loads of ethnic-differences-related-trouble simmering beneath this wee isle's social tapestry, no matter whatever THEY say.

All these seemingly minor glitches will eventually rule over the tapestry's direction and then what? How can one undo these rash stiches?

Why is racism still touted in homes? I'm sure all of us have at least once brushed against our parents/guardian's views on racism. Thing is, most people outgrow these archaic notions. (Bravo!)

But what of those who don't? They'll continue to perpetrate misguided views and behold! a vicious cycle ensues. No government nor logical force can sway these people.

In that case, it's up to each person, ain't it? You represent your ethnic group and you decide what image to portray.

p.s.]
get a social conscience.

p.p.s.]
am neither sensitive nor high-strung. (say so and woe shall befall you.>_<) I'm merely stating facts.

Take a bow, Penelope.

2004-11-09T04:31:00.000+08:00

My eyes are seriously bloodshot.

I've been reading Harry Potter fanfics for around 8-9 hours with breaks of 5 mins kept to a minimum. Whoa! is all I can say. It's like I've stumbled upon an endless source of entertainment, for unlike a book, I can keep sourcing for more stories to read. - Talk about losing a penny and finding a pound! seeing as how my original intention had been to look up the latest GoF (Goblet of Fire) news.

______ :: musique :: ______

Renee Olstead's husky timbre just seems to glide out of the speakers and fill the room. With a voice reminiscent of the jazz heavyweights of the big-band era, I still can't believe she's only fifteen.

I especially recommend, for your listening pleasure,
'Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby' ; it's truly sultry soul.

click on picture for more info

A totally wuunderrrfull voice.

2004-11-06T03:59:00.000+08:00

Over It
by Anneliese Van Der Pol

How could you know

That behind my eyes a sad girl cried

And how could you know

That I hurt so much inside

And how could you know

That i'm not the average girl

I'm carrying the weight of the world

YEAH!

So can you get me outta here
Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So i can forget about this mess

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then i will be

Over It

I'm playin the role

Of the happy girl

But no one knows

Inside i'm alone

But i would never let it show

I get everyday

Too much work and not enough play

Over and over

It's always the same

YEAH!

But you can make everything OK...
Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So i can forget about this mess

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then i will be

Over It

Over it

And when the world is closin' in

I can leave it all and just walk away

I can always start all over again

I am closer to a better day

Take me away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So i can forget about this mess

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then i will be

Take Me Away

We'll jump in the car

Drive til the gas runs out and then walk so far

That we can't

See this place anymore

Take a day off

Give it a rest

So i can forget about this mess

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then i will be

If i lighten up a little bit,

Then i will be

Over It

I am Over It

Over It
by Anneliese Van Der Pol

Koi Mil Gaya

2004-11-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

It's the little moments of bliss that get me through life:-
Mum beaming as we sit and chat in the kitchen, Romping about with my dad and sisters - Snatches of joy under fate's watch.

{Pondering ahead ---> }

Being quite the fatalist, I totally believe in kismet/destiny/Lady Luck etc. etc. I think we're basically enacting a script(i.e. The Life) and any dramatic twists we undertake eventually land us just where we should have landed.

What if I get hit by a car the moment I try to cross the road? What if the plane I'm in crashes and burns and I'm left gurgling in my watery grave? What if, what if? I figure if I spent all my time and energy I'd run out of the main reason I 'what-if'-ed for...

So I'm gonna stop, take stock and move on. After all, I don't really have anything to lose, except of course, life.

Coming of age

2004-11-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

I feel like Anne of Avonlea when she feels the veil of adolescence slowly fall away and reveal, for a brief flash, the road to adulthood.

It's like everything now possesses a different tone. A shade of mystery revealed in all it's gritty glory. It's like when I put on my glasses in the morning - everything is now in sharp focus. I know what I want and have realised that i'll have to teeter on the tightrope of life to land on the safe platform. Eventually.

On a less bleak note,
I'm leaving on the 12th of Nov. till the 2nd of Dec for Mumbai, Mangalore then Cochin.
Rather looking forward to that, I am.

alone in a crowd

2004-10-16T01:07:00.000+08:00

So there I stood, cheek by jowl with Ms Confidence-Leech and Mr Run-away-and-Hide.

The rest just don't get it. Again. You'd think by now I'd've learnt. But noooooo, never shalt thost learn.

I ran away again to Ye Lakeside Haven. Felt the spray of the sea against my upturned face. I wanted to shake my fist at the elements - Why was it always me? Why can't the others fall and for once, just once, let ME be the one picking them up and offering shallow, meaningless and totally useless endearments? WHY? [of course this all occured in my mind's eye...]

I should just enlist andarter now say that he deserves to be re-elected, up from 18 percent in our last poll."

Zogby said the difference between Kerry's 79 percent support among Democrats and Bush's 89 percent support from Republicans also should be "worrisome" for Kerry in such a tight race.
9 percent support from Republicans also should be "worrisome" for Kerry in such a tight race.

What's the point?

2004-10-07T08:53:00.000+08:00

I'm severely disillusioned with the world right now. Deadlines are crammed, life is not enjoyed, laughter is fleeting, I mean, really, WHAT are we living for? To die? With 'honour'? Pshaw! That theory may have worked eons ago, but now, hah!

All we do in life is trudge. Uphill, downhill, into classes, out of school, into adulthood towards It Who Walks With A Scythe. Attack by illnesses, harangued by what we think we lack, inevitable comparisions to social betters, can anyone tell me WHY we still ration life?

Pass meager portions of it,hoard it like misers? I'll tell you why.

It's because we have hope. Hope it'll all be alright someday, hope that on that One Day, life WILL be better because YOU have waited for SO long for it to be better. Sounds a bit like a viscious circle eh?

Those who have life fast slipping from their grasping fingers, yearn to undo past errors, ride over regrets, basically LIVE life. Those who are in the flush of life, planted in its vibrancy, whine about pithy things like suicide.

Where's the justice? Who's right? Who's wrong? I can't really focus on that issue anymore, my focal length is skewered. All I want, is to be on the roof terrace again and watch the brown eagles swoop and play with the wind against the blue bowl dotted with wisps of white.

Lest you're flayed by my mordant tongue.

2004-10-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

Sensitive!?